harita

A serene smile on a very innocent face is the first image I got in my mind about Harita. She is the most beautiful part of my life. Even though she may not be with me now but she’s gonna be very close to me always. It was she who had defined me and inspired me to be something. It was her love for which I used to live and now without her I m no longer living; just existing- A fake and pathetic existence. I remember how much happy I used to be earlier, how by just hearing her sweet and childish voice all my senses used to get activated, how I was ready to give my life for just a mere look of her and used to do it many times……

It’s too painful for me to accept that: she is no longer mine, I can’t talk to her, can’t see her. Oh what the hell!

What’s so special about her that with her all my happiness and Strength had also left me? Why I m still looking for her everywhere? Why can’t I just forget her? Why can’t I move on?

She is the most precious gem I would ever come across. It was the simplicity and innocence of the way her eyes used to look at me, her cute face radiating a luminescence engulfing me wholeheartedly, her honey-sweet voice with sweetness of the whole world, her very delicate and caring nature, the gentle touch of her hands-overwhelming me, the closeness we used to feel with each other, all the commitments and love vouches we had made together, all the time we had spent together just staring into each other eyes and being alone in our separate wonderland; all the passionate kisses we had made, and the notion I had that she was mine………………………………..

Earlier i used to have the notion that: of all the person in the world she would always be with me no matter what happens, whatever be the circumstances, whatever may be the outcome of our action and she was mine. The notion was so rigid and so firm in my head and heart that for 2 years in just can't believe she is no more with me. Everyday i used think about her, about what i would say to her when we met again, about how much happy and thrilled she would be, seeing me after months.........

The notion was so strong that i didn't cared about anyone except her. I even fought and misbehaved infinite times with my family. How stupid and idiot i was? Now i just can't believe how for a cheap tramp i had done all those things. How naive i was in realizing the real person in her. Now i feel so much disgust and so much anger, not for her but for myself for what i was- that i cannot ever forgive myself for what i had done.

My real problem is not that she had dumped me, but its that- i m stuck in between two huge magnets and each one tearing away my body. On one side, i'm madly in love with her and other i just can't even think about her......