Humarah Pyarra AOE

khello bae...
din-raat khelo....
weekday may khelo, weekend mai bhi khelo...
college mai kuch bhi ho raha ho....AOE khelna jaroo hai.....
chaiye kal exam ho yaa popQuizee
AOE bunk nahi hona chiaye
AOE mai sab ko pro hona jaroo hai
kyon ki bhi banda weak ho game ka fukka ho jata hai
Pratice, Discuss and think
Agkle game mai apna points itna upar karna hai ki
samne walla C sae jayada sooch hi nahi payee
Army combined bannaa...
sirf champion yaa paladin sae hi game mat khelnaa
Ladte Ladte Ghar mat bhool jana
kyon yahin tumharah fukka lag jata
5-10 bhi mil kae tumeh kangal bana sakte hai
bar bar ghar dekhte rahna
Resource mai bhi dhyan dena
wana kangali aa jayuegi
Madar market jab jaroorat hogi tab bahuut mahange hoga
jab jaroorat nahi hogi sab free mai bhi dae dega
Trading bahut crucial hai
ek end sae dousee end tak karna
beech mai enemy ko castle banane mat dena
Pikeman aur skirmer see khelna walloo...
AOE ki bhejetae karna band kar dooo
Thode din game dekho seekho
Phir Game mai sabko pelooooooooooooooooooooooo

I m pissed

Sanity, what the hell why everyone is so obsessed with it? I don’t understand what so special in sanity and maturity that everyone and in every sphere of life people are crying for it?

In my opinion sanity sucks, it’s so mundane and chiche that it suck the out of life. It prevents you from doing what you wanted to do, it takes the real enthu from you and one starts giving more importance to what some else has said and ordained......

Screw him and all other preachers yaar, life has much more than blindly following some pigs. The social structure is formulated (as i see it) so that people can socialize better and its made for the people. But nowadays people are shaping themselves according to the society. Society is no longer for us and on the contrary we are here for society; to uphold its notions of life and living.

Today, one of my closest friends suggested me to behave properly and show some maturity as most of people are pissed becoz of me. Some are so angry at me that they can't tolerate me for a second and wanna smash me........

Frankly, I was amused and after that very very angry. I was totally knocked out. I was speechless that instant. There is really some misunderstanding somewhere. Basically as far as I know I am a very simple person. And more important all my friends know me much better that I know myself. I don’t like to be with a lot of people and generally keep with only 2-3 friends. I have my own definition of friendship. The most important is that infront of my friends I don’t have to use my brain and show maturity and sanity especially when we are talking. It should not be mandatory for any of us to make sense of everything we say or do. And also we should have the decency and freedom to express our resentment towards each other if we don’t like any particular thing we might say or do.

I don’t blame him for saying what he said, I think I mistakenly considered him as a friend. I apologies to all those who are pissed becoz of me and wanted to tell them plz stay away from me and tell me if I m again making the same mistake and I will try my best not to intrude in their life.

I have nothing to do with u idiots and u ppl dont exsist in my life and frankly don’t njoy with u guys and hope the same for you also………

Tye Tye

2nd year

The second year has began and began with it the "Don" of the insti feeling. This transition from being an outsider to the part of the insti family is most interesting part of the whole college life. First year generally went in fear and in studying as many are in culture shock as they come from small localities and small towns and the experience of adjusting among a batch of 240 is for most overwhelming. so many just stays in their room most of the time. Especially when many of batch mates are quite extraordinary and marks in all exams remain single digit.
The second year brings a sense of confidence as most of the adjustments are already done. Friends are made, things are settled and the position in the batch is also to an extent decided. So screw everyone, chil and njoy is the commonest notion. Also done with attending lectures and studies so lets bung some lectures and see whts on other side of the corridor. A tentative student gradually learns how to be a college student free of all tensions and why every one says that college life is the best part of any1's life.
Also starts the ragging sessions and trying something elses and time for showing creativity both from juniors and from us. Another very important things wid new batch comes new girls which are very scare resource in eng colleges. Already tired of watching same 10-20 girls for all 1 years some new faces is like new life line and new excitement.

Sleep

Sleep Sleep and more Sleep
One of the many things which i and almost all the guys and gulz of DAIICT are Pro in. Sleep is the ultimate salvation from the hectic and tyring schedule of the college. Here in 4 yeas we have got used to sleep of minimum 12 hrs a day!. Sleep is the only commodity which is free here. No matter whts going in the college the doors of angels of sleep are always open. Sleep during lecture, Tuts, Labs........
We are so much addicted to sleep that we cannot go for more than 14-16 hrs without sleeping.
No matter what we were doing and where we are - we can fall asleep nywhere, nytime.
Sleeping has its own advantage. Its help a lot in time of money crisis. which happens many times. The funda is simple: The more u sleep the the less the survival will cost. Especially when u have such good canteen like in DAIICT and can get nything 24x7. Earlier when we used to have labs and regular class we have to get up at 2:00pm as labs were compulsory. Who wants to study so lecture were daily bunged. lectures were only attended if we make a night out and wanna some change so lets go to lectures.
Now during our BTP as loads is very mild and from there previous experience the faculty is expecting minimum work is like all the bounds and previous records of sleeping gonna be broken soon. I myself is sleeping 12-14 hrs everyday. Sometime wake up, stuff something and sleep again...

Fight

what the hell yaar..... i failed once again. The mistakes i make everytime cannot be even termed as silly, because they are not; they are pathetic and disgusting. Even after trying so hard to do something well, to improvise, to learn, to understand, to achieve something, to have that blissful feeling of knowing something and most important to gain some confidence, not for anyone else, But for myself so can i can defend myself in this world and live with some pride and dignity..........

Life is getting complicated every single second and me instead of taking any step forward, moving backward with long strides and losing my confidence every step......

I know to do and achieve something, Man only needs confidence in his capabilities and confidence cannot be bought in market, cannot be developed in coaching classes, cannot be borrowed or stolen. Its like an inner strength deep inside the mesh and labyrinth of muscles, bones and flesh. Something spiritual; something too powerful.....

Expectations are also increasing linearly with speed of time. Not of others but of mine from myself. It's not failures which pisses me off but its the addiction to make mistakes, especially in crunch time and get screwed every time, even after preparing well!!

what shall i do? Consoling myself after every event(failure), crying for sometime, being alone and get screwed again next time Sucks.

Well i m gonna fight again and again no matter whatever happens......
Life goes on AND so I must also GO ON and ON.........

A Pleasant morning

The Sky is still grey and black, the ambiance is of a slight chill with pleasant winds hovering and howling up and down and sideways. As I stand on our terrace, waiting for the Sun God to sprinkle his warmth and divinity; I realize if there is heaven anywhere, its here - now at this moment. A sense of eternal bliss ran all over my body as I stand there, with the winds disheveling my hairs and giving me a sharp twitch in to my spine with every stroke.

The ambience is divinely calm and serene with a melodious and beautiful music, in the background of infinite birds with their chirping and flapping; getting off for a new day with a new hope and new strength. Slowly and gradually many white patches stated to appear in the sky and the visibility gets better and better as the Sun God finally kept aside his blanket and comes out of his deep somber.

The hushing and puffing of all the trees and bushes, the flocks of birds, the icy winds and the luminescence of Sun rays provided me a deep sense of satisfaction, strength and a strong drive force for me to start a new day, afresh- keeping all the past with its mistakes and foolishness aside and move on life…………………………

shari

Are jindagi jeene mai kya majha hai
ek bar mar kae to deko
Are pyaar karne mai kya majhe hai


Jindagi humeh kis mod pae lee jaa rahe hai
Jara jhank kae to dekho
Jara shanti to lo
Jara jati hui galliyon ko to dekho lo
Kya pata kal wapis aana padh jai
Aur fiza ka rukh, kal ulta hoooooooooooooo

Are kal ki chinta chod do
Kal kisne dekha hai
Kal jo hooga dekha jaeega
Jara ek baar aaj ka maja bhi lee lo

Jo gaya use jane do
Aur jo aa raha hai osse jara dekho to lo
Shayad jo hua aacha hi hua
Jindagi ko jindagi ki tarah jee kae to dekho

Are kyon ho itne khaffa jindagi sae
Ek paar jindagi see dosti kar kae to dekho
Kya pata andheri raato mai roshni aa gai
Kya pata veerane mai bhi haryali chaa jai

Kya pata kal ho na hoo
Kya pata kal jiye na jiya
Jo karna hai kar lo
Sayahad kismet aaj aakhri bar maharban hai……………

harita

A serene smile on a very innocent face is the first image I got in my mind about Harita. She is the most beautiful part of my life. Even though she may not be with me now but she’s gonna be very close to me always. It was she who had defined me and inspired me to be something. It was her love for which I used to live and now without her I m no longer living; just existing- A fake and pathetic existence. I remember how much happy I used to be earlier, how by just hearing her sweet and childish voice all my senses used to get activated, how I was ready to give my life for just a mere look of her and used to do it many times……

It’s too painful for me to accept that: she is no longer mine, I can’t talk to her, can’t see her. Oh what the hell!

What’s so special about her that with her all my happiness and Strength had also left me? Why I m still looking for her everywhere? Why can’t I just forget her? Why can’t I move on?

She is the most precious gem I would ever come across. It was the simplicity and innocence of the way her eyes used to look at me, her cute face radiating a luminescence engulfing me wholeheartedly, her honey-sweet voice with sweetness of the whole world, her very delicate and caring nature, the gentle touch of her hands-overwhelming me, the closeness we used to feel with each other, all the commitments and love vouches we had made together, all the time we had spent together just staring into each other eyes and being alone in our separate wonderland; all the passionate kisses we had made, and the notion I had that she was mine………………………………..

Earlier i used to have the notion that: of all the person in the world she would always be with me no matter what happens, whatever be the circumstances, whatever may be the outcome of our action and she was mine. The notion was so rigid and so firm in my head and heart that for 2 years in just can't believe she is no more with me. Everyday i used think about her, about what i would say to her when we met again, about how much happy and thrilled she would be, seeing me after months.........

The notion was so strong that i didn't cared about anyone except her. I even fought and misbehaved infinite times with my family. How stupid and idiot i was? Now i just can't believe how for a cheap tramp i had done all those things. How naive i was in realizing the real person in her. Now i feel so much disgust and so much anger, not for her but for myself for what i was- that i cannot ever forgive myself for what i had done.

My real problem is not that she had dumped me, but its that- i m stuck in between two huge magnets and each one tearing away my body. On one side, i'm madly in love with her and other i just can't even think about her......

Room-D312

My room was in the D-Wing of the boys Hall of Residence on the 2^nd floor of the wing. It was on the top floor of the wing as the buildings cannot be of more than 2 floors.

This Room and Room No. gonna stay and linger a long time in my memory. I know within a mere few weeks after leaving the institute, I’m gonna start carve like hell for my room. This room has been everything for me for more for 3 and 1/2 years - Fucking 4 years. Things have changed so drastically during my stay here. Life has changed so much. Petrol used to Rs 32 per liter before coming here and now it’s around Rs 52. I had spend so much time in the room and learnt so much in the room that it would be a very difficult for me to leave the room. It’s the only place where I don’t have to pretend what I truly am. It’s only here, where I came to know to myself better and tasted absolute freedom and freedom. Its here only I formed the greatest bonds of friendship of my life. It’s from the room only I looked at the world and experienced it. To me, my room is the most sacred place in the insti and its will be my home forever; wherever may I be in the world.

To describe the room gonna be a bit tricky for me. A medium sized rectangular room, much like if we joins 3-4 compartments of a train boggy; with 2 single beds of plastic type special fiber, Two decent and spacious PC table with additional space and drawers with locks, (whom I never locked), Two chairs one for each and two sets of racks for each one of us on each side of the room directly opposite the door with a huge window in the middle with three partitions and without any grill. The amount of air which rushes into the room during windy days just overwhelms us. For each one, Separate almira is also provided on the two partition made by the door. The almira were made in the wall itself so moving them was never the issue (the only thing which remained in its place all 4 years). After sometime the insti also provided us with curtains for the windows. They were also made of some kind of plastic or fiber and sort of dirty milky white in appearance and rough in texture. They design, quality and the color was really too awful and very appalling mismatch for the room and the overall infrastructure of the hostels. I don’t get to know which one of the idiotic and fool administrative guy, has ordered them? and how the insti allowed it? My roomy had brought the curtains with him and so we used them. There were two tube lights on the two side of the room, again one for each. And one common fan. One fan was enough for the room as the room are not very spacious and only as my room was in the 2^nd floor did we used to feel the need for something better during summers, but all the others floors were quite comfortable. Near the racks, few sockets were provided for pc and also for connecting LAN. The Walls were white washed with some mild cracks here and there and the floor was of quota stone.

I don’t think, the things we are so used to do in our room and consider them as normal, we’ll be able to do and enjoy them ever again. Things like sleep at anytime (generally after morning breakfast) and just sleep without any botherations and tension (minimum 10 hrs and believe me 14 hrs is a very normal figure with most of the guys), Smoke infinitely and without any fear and drink also as we like. There was just absolute freedom being imparted to us. There was no one to watch us, control us or to stop us from experiencing life the way we wanted. There were just no rules, no guidelines and no laws. As there was no senior in our wing and all the rooms were occupied by ppl of my batch -- the “Senior-Junior” issue was never raised. There had been infinite sessions of movies many times alone and many times in groups. I remember very correctly me making a full semester break of 10 days into a movie bonanza with 3 shows everyday. In DAIICT LAN there are more than 200 good movies are share always and so I copied all and made a good movie fare. Watching American series are also one of the favorite time pass of us. I had once watched a series named “Smallville” which has 5 seasons that time with each season containing 24 episodes and each episode was of 42 min, in just 7 days; straight 7 dazs, no lectures, no labs, no studying just sleeping, watching and eating. Watched all the seasons of friends, Lost, Prison Break, How I met ur Mother, Joey, Kyle, House etc etc and the list is to much……..

The condition of my room generally tends to be on the messy side and credit goes to both me and my roomy. We usually used to be very lazy abt keeping our stuff at their places and all my stuff like cloths, books, novels, dictionary and me used to occupy the bed together. We used to be so lazy that even f any of our cloths used to fell from the bed; we never bent and picked it up. We used to pick it up only when we needed it to wear it. Newspapers used to be all over the room and in every shape they can take. The room is decorated with many-many cigarette stubs and empty cigarette boxes. Only once a month or two we used to clean the room and in just 2-3 days the condition gets back to normal. Most of our stuff was very carefully placed and on our hands reach; so that we don’t have to move to far from our bed. Even though we always keep 2 bottles for water, we use them only during summers and all the other time they are just thrown on the floor and let them take their place on the room. We both are also great animal lover so we always welcomed spiders and their cowebs along with all other kind of bugs--who used to demand equal share in the room. We used to keep all our foot wears in the space between the beds because of easy accessibility of them from there. No need to keep them under the bed and bend and get them next time! Too much pain for both of us. All our daily itineraries are placed just near our PC again for accessibility issue. Who will open the drawer of the cupboard every time and for every small thing?

Consider the scenario of our room when I was writing this blog:

The Window is closed and curtains are unfolded over the window. My PC table is just infront of the window, horizontally and covering the whole window. Rommy’s PC table nears mine but vertically and ½ m from his side racks. Both the CPU are open from both sides and the side part of cabinets lying somewhere on the ground. Mine has just started working after the harddisk crash in my PC and Roomy’s PC dead due to overheat and is very injured as all his vital organs (parts) being used by other people CPU’s. Me using his LAN Card and LAN Cable, Jainey using his RAM, Pamba using his USB Mouse. His CPU is lying flat on the table with no sign of life and every transistor of both the CPU’s is clearly visible. On my PC Table there also is the messy speaker with a big and entangled web of wires , an empty cigarette box, a Mirror with support of wall, a pair of combs, an Axe Powder box, Deo Spray, Wings of fire-autobiography of APJ KALAM, A mug for drinking something (Roomy’s) and my Specks. Roomy’s Table totally devastated and ruined and like a collapsed building with pc and a broken speakers and its wires, a pile of books and papers , lock, Toolbox, a broken speck, hair cream and more books on the top of dead CPU. Cuming to my bed, in which my bed sheet as normal- is straying half on air and occupying only the half of the bed. The other half is occupied by all sorts of things. 2 pillows-one leaning against the wall and other lying horizontally over the pile of cloths and bed-sheets; A shawl and a blanket spread over the bed in an haphazard way (I usually used to left it the way it was when I wake up), Few thick books and novels, today’s paper (generally used to be of minimum 7-10 days, paper started only today), my towels, woolens and more than 50 % of cloths (all ready to use). My roomy is sleeping so he is on his bed. I our room we had 3 chairs. Actually my roomy’s cousin who was also student here left one chair to my roomy while he left and on two chairs are my roomy’s cloths and the heap is as tall as can be sustainable on the chairs. All my roomy’s cloths. One chair is placed in the space between the two beds and other near my almira. One extra bed is also near my almira and where one of the chair is placed and its just dumped there as there was no place in the room to accommodate such a big stuff. On the space between the beds my roomy’s suitcase is also placed and he used to take out cloths from it and wear it as he has no space in his almira to keep them. My almira is open as usual. Some empty plates, some old cloths and some shoes are gallantly occupying the little space left in between my bed and my almira and same is with my roomy’s. Cigarette buds and half burnt matchsticks are in every corner of the room with many papers and bits of papers on the ground. I’m sitting infront of my pc just in line of widow and a bit on the front side in the space between the beds……………

i wanna be me

I want to be me
I want to be me
I don’t wanna go nywhere
I don’t wanna be someone else
I want to be me

I can’t be this and that
I can’t do this and that
I can’t pretend to be this and that
I just can’tI want to be me

I’m not gonna change
I’m not gonna adjust
I just don’t care
I just don’t give a f***

I’m very simple
I’m very casual and lazy
I’m very easy going
And I love being myself

Plz don’t make idiotic expectations
I’m not worthy of them
I’m not gonna do what u say
Its not stubbornness
It's just who I am

It’s my Country
It’s my home
Don’t try to change it
Don’t mess it up………………

I beg u, give me
Some space
Some time
Some freedom
Some honesty
Some humanness

I want to be me
I want to be me

LALA

Guptaji kae baree mai kya kahon

Banda bilkul Mast hai...
Khaa-pee ki bindass majee mai hai
Banda up to the neck full of fun and frolic hai
Faltu ki tension inke liye disjoint set hai
Wing ka sab kuch inka hai
aur jo inka hai woh to inka hai hi
Room kae darwaje humeha khulle rahte hai
par yeah usme kabhi kabhi hi milte hai
Adhiktar samay janta ji bhalai mai lage rahte hai...
aaj kal mera aur mere roomy ki bhali kar rahe hai
Samaj sewa hi inka param dharm hai
aur jeevan ka lakash hai

Guptaji Batch kae NETA
Guptaji Batch kae JAN
Guptaji Batch ki Shaan
Guptaji ka style
Guptaji ka elegance
Guptaji ki diplomacy
Guptaji ka chanchal-Maan
Guptaji ki bakar
Guptaji ka TT Racket Swing
Guptaji ka Badi Smash
Guptaji kae pille(juniors)
Kae to hum hi kya pura college FAN hai

2 line arj karta hoon
Neeche see gaya kutta,
upar see aaya Gupta

lakin Lala is of a very good quality, a real hybrid and perfect blend of west and east....
A real Royal guy and a kool guy to hang out and njoy.

She

She, is so simple, so pure, so delicate, so divinely beautiful, so Serene ..................
ohhh God! She's gone. I don't know how the past 40 hrs had passed? Time appeared to have got some super speed and strength and traveled with infinite pace-leaping hours in seconds and dazs in minutes. And I'm trying to catch a few glimpses of her sometime here-sometime there.

Today, for first time I felt some closeness and a sense of understanding. Today for the first time I saw her being angry at me. May be its the occasion or something else AND may be not..........

I know I always cross the boundary of decency and do idiotic things, but how to cajole myself that that star is not mine is my problem? Her slenderness, her elegance, her poise, her cute smile, those squinted eyes, those sharp and thin curvilinear eyebrows, and complexion of an angel and now her pics which I had captured on the occasion have made a place very deep inside my heart.

So what if she is away from me? So what if I can’t talk to her? SO what if she didn’t like me?

Liking some one is a very strange human emotion. It really hurts and it hurts pretty badly. But still we do it everyday and day after day. Today after our small chat I was having very mixed feelings. Talking with her for 5-10 minutes is very good on one hand and also very sad as even 5-10 years are less for me ……

I am trying to adjust and to console myself but I know my efforts are all gonna be in vain. No matter how hard I try and suppress my feelings for her, I will never be able to cut her out of myself. It may be the last time I meet her but her reminiscence always gonna stay and be with me……

I have only my Best Wishes while biding adieu to her............

BTech

Finally, the BTech is coming to its Culmination
Thinking abt it, my heart starts pounding faster
With a mixed feeling of happiness and fear
I hope the time to stand still, never moving
The Campus ambience is of thrill and excitement
With all the sky-touching aspirations and dreams……..

Soon we have to leave our Beloved Campus
Our Campus, Our Hostel, Our Room and Our Institute
Life’s gonna change so drastically
With all its Competition, Stress and Work …….

Life is so smooth and cool in institute
It’s so comforting to wake at 2:00 in afternoon
And sleep at 6:00 in the morning
Without any tension and worry……..

As the end is progressing near
Me thinking about Last 4 years
How time flew without any rest
With its ups and down; joy and sadness
With exams and vacations………..

All the night-outs, bunking lecture…
All the night trips we used to make
All the time we spent on cafeteria
All the time we spent, doing nothing
And Off course, all the FRIENDS…………..

Dilemma

I am a bit confused, infact very confused, very very confused…………………..
Life has gone so much out of track, so much complicated, tense, and bitchy. Its like having a terrible nightmare; from where one can’t wake up.

I don’t know what I m looking for? Is it Success? Is it love? Or its Solace? A sense of guilt is always there no matter what I do, how I do and whatever be the output. Its not like I haven’t done or achieved anything or I m a total fiasco or very depressed Nevertheless I think I m quite happy and lively. With god’s grace and my parents love I had everything a person can dream about. Every comfort, every luxury and everything I can think of my parents had provided. Its not just material things I m talking abt it includes everything. Still I don’t know why I m feeling a void; like something very important, very critical is missing……….

For some time I m trying to fathom the mystery of life, thinking about the purpose of life, of the mystery of universe and of life of the coincidence and luck (as many people will say it) that some get and some don’t. The more I think about it the more anxious and restless I feel; answers giving way to more questions and more questions. Its like a chain nuclear reaction, tackle one and 2 more pops up. Answers are coming, albeit in regular intervals but there is something in me trying to reject the answers. The answers seems so cruel and insensitive and complex.

I have came to that stage of life where I have to make decisions every day and the pressure is killing me… On one had I want to do something big, something worth of trying and on the other I just want to be a dormant human being. On one hand there is so much to do and achieve and on other all the thing seems so much futile…

The desire to live and enjoy life has ended me. Now I have stopped dreaming, stopped aspiring and achieving something. Every effort seems so much in vain and hopeless. It only increases my restlessness more. I have no idea of what the hell is going on?

Catty

What the hell, cat is on at 9:30
The most difficult exam on earth
More than 2 lakhs ppl like me gonna sit for the exam
Out of which only less than 2 thousand gonna go
Rest r gonna go empty hand
With tears in eyes and chillness and emptiness in mind
With all the dreams scattered
And all the hopes crushed

I know I have no chance in cat
B’coz I m a big time sucker
And haven’t done any prep
Catty cat gonna screw me

In the name of prep I had attended some classes
Done some assignments and question
Worked for some sporadic hrs on some sporadic dazs
There is no continuity and balance
There is no mental perp and confidence

Haven’t done any good in mock cats
Given for the sake of only giving
B’coz others r giving
Never done any self assessment after 1 or 2 tests

How could a person like me dream of cat
With all the weakness and pathetic-ness
With no desire and aspirations
With only content of being in the box
Never daring to venture out…………

What shall I do in today’s exam?
Now when the judgment day has come
I slept enough and woke at 4:00Am
With panic all over my body and psyche

Now I m remembering all what my brother had told me
Thinking about the hopes and belief of my parents and family
How I’m gonna explain them
Reasons of me being a fiasco

A sense of guilt is gripping me
Just 4 hrs before the cat exam
And my mind swirling and whirling in
Oceans of formula’s and theorems and rules

But I have no idea
What I m trying to remember
I can’t remember anything
B’coz I never learnt anything

Lets see whats gonna happen
Chances r less
But I m trying to be strong
And hoping for the BEST……………………………..

The Nightly Night

The Nightly night is so dark,
Littered with thousand stars,
And bejeweled with plants and galaxies,
Covering and containing the earth and whole universe,
A sleeping blanket covering all,
A magical spell forcing and coaxing all eye lids to close,
And I, a Daiictian peeping from the blanket,
Revolting, Revolutionizing; trying to fathom the mystery,
So in vain and ridiculous r my efforts,
In the end I have to change………

The dazs r so hot and uncomfortable,
The Nightly night is so cool and comforting,
The dazs r so bright and breeze so harsh,
We sweat from head to toe,
There is so much commotion during days,
There is so much peace and tranquility during Nightly night,
The schedule is so hectic during day time,
With strict rules, regulations and timelines,
While Nightly night has no rules no fixation………

The day time is so annoying and indolent,
The Nightly night is so soothing,
The Nightly night is so beautiful,
Full of innumerable street lights,
Full of secrecy and mystery and darkness,
While the dazs r so open and naked,
The Nightly night is so serene and pure,
While the dazs r so showy and artificial…………

But In the end I have to do what others r doing,
I have to sleep at night and go on during day time,
As I have to live with them,
As I depend on them,
As I have to follow the social norms…………

As the hard day is gonna began,
The only consolation is the morning,
With the sky turning blue-black to grey to orange-yellow-reddish,
With the wind still carrying nightly night in them,
With the ambiance still pure and magnificent,
With people still dreaming,
With cool breeze and dew in the air,
And hope that the day will end soon,
And Nightly night will come soon………………………..

why??

What should I do?
How to know what to do?
How should I do it?
How to know what I like?
And dislike!.......................

Things are so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Y ‘m I so pissed off?
Y everything is falling apart?
Y there is only darkness?
What happened to all the light sources?
Why there is so much fear and weakness….
Y’m I here and what I m doing?
Things are so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Is there any hope?
Is there is any god?
Is there any solution?
Is there any end?
Things are so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Y is everyone angry at me?
Y I m angry at everyone?
Y there is so much pain and helplessness?
Y there is so much complications?
Is there any solution?
Life is so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Y even after trying so much I fail?
Y others succeed?
Y while others r having fun and I m miserable?
Y everyone have friends and I have none?
Y everywhere is joy and alacrity and I m suffering?
Things are so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Y everything is so pure?
Y I m so impure?
Y everyone is so rich?
Y I m so poor?
Y everyone is so satisfied and contend?
Y I m so unsatisfied?
Life is so messy….
Life is so sulky…

Y everyone’s doing so much?
Y everyone has something to do?
Y I m sitting alone and doing nothing?
Y I m so inactive?
What m I looking for?
Y there is no one to help?
Life is so messy….
Life is so sulky…

So where does all this end?
In this world or another?
Y I like this?
Y r others like this?
Will I be always like this?
Will others be always like this?
I want to cry….
I want to laugh…….
I want to enjoy……
I want to work……
I want to love….
I want to be loved……
I want to have passion…….
I want to have fun…….

Will I ever achieve this?????????

College Dazs

college dazs
college dazs

dazs of fun and sorrow
dazs of excitement and anxiety
dazs of innumerable hrs of sleep
dazs without any tension………….
Dazs with and without exams…..
Dazs where passing the exams matter very little and flunking is more fun
Dazs of uncontrolled frenzy of games and powerplay
Dazs of nightouts and dormant afternoon
Dazs where morning occurs after 4:00 Pm and evening at 6:00 Am
Dazs where no day passes when we haven’t curse the college administration
Dazs where we never ate without cursing the cook…
Dazs of uncontrolled fun and amity (even with flora and Fiona of institute)
Dazs of high Jinks on hostel corridor and hazy morning after boozing all night on hostel terrace…………..
Dazs of feeling very great after attending lectures after months…lol
Dazs of ragging juniors and feeling like the don of the institute
Dazs of lamenting about abysmal and Byzantine course and profs
Dazs of umpteen cigarette and smoke …..
Dazs of sitting with whole group and killing time….
Dazs of happy and sad and neither sad nor happy dazs
Dazs of unnecessary debates, bickering and sledging
Dazs of slovenly and indolence
Dazs of learning and experimentation
Dazs of doing all except what being told to do in lab…
Dazs of orkutting and playing in labs and pissing off the TA’s and lab Assistants
Dazs of waking 10 minutes before exam and scurrying through the course notes…
Dazs of brethren and synergy and juggling
Dazs of being frenetic and obnoxious and chaotic
Dazs of TV serials and movies
Dazs of going to interview and gabbling
Dazs of doing bhangra on navrati and on DJ Nights
Dazs of learning the technicality of Cut-Copy and Paste
Dazs of going to labs 10 minutes before and arguing with TA for attendance
Dazs of proxies and sleeping in class with eye half open….
Dazs of studying with girl friend in library when we want to do everything except studying

college dazs
college dazs

Pune trip

Around 1:00 Am I reached Pune station. I got down and looked for my friend. After sometime he came and I felt a bit relief as I had no clue what I would do if he didn’t show up.

Coming from a small town Bhilai I had very small idea of the outside world. I expected things and people as quite simple and easy going. And this being the first encounter was a very enriching and amazing experience. So, I get down to a sleepy platform of Pune with lot of excitement and thrill and eyes wide open.

And the fun had began as soon as I got there. We hugged and chatted for a while. The first thing I wanna do was after 20 hrs of journey was to smoke. Man, I was dying out of carving. Being in DA-IICT for a sem and smoking 8-10 cigarette every day I was too addicted to them. My friend Anup asked me would I would like to go to the disco?

Yaa man….. would love to. I replied grinning. So we rush to the discothèque in his CBZ. The great Pune city litted with myriad street lights, easy traffic and cool breeze of night was very exhilarating and soothing. We stuffed my luggage in one of his friends home and went straight to move our asses in flashing lights and in very very high volume of music which most of the people have no idea. I had never been to a discotheque before and only seen and heard about it. I expected a lot of white chicks with minimal and hip clothing, partly drunk and partly high. I expected a huge euphoria in the place. And the place really rocks. Even though it was a decent disco, I was immediately flattered. The room was decent sized divided mainly in three sections. In the middle it had a bar where the sonsofBitches sells booze at atleast 3-times the rate. On one side it had lounge and some sitting arrangement and on other the disco floor. There were several huge speakers on the room around 8-10 pumping out enormous amount of deafening music which can event sets a deaf feet to rock’nRoll. The place was not very crowded as there are infinitely many such cool places in Pune. On one side my friend’s friends were enjoying and we went to them and done the formal introductions. There were 2 chicks with them and out of which one was very cute and beautiful and other to me resemble more of a kind of metropolis bitch and tramp. She respelled Deepak as if she had never knows any one with that name. Anywaz the party had began. We grabbed one-one bottle of chilled kingfisher bear and started rolling over asses. This being my first time and with a bunch of people, whom name I had forgotten as soon as the other guy told his name and 2 chicks (I know that’s not a huge stats but for a starter is a big thing), I felt very awkward. Bhai, me being a desi guy, only knowing “Amitabh bachan and dharma pagi” style of free dancing felt a bit tense. I know if I start enjoying we would certainly be thrown out of the place. So with caution, I danced and drank slowly. In the end, it was very fine and enjoyable experience. We reached home back at around 5:00 in the morning and felt too tired and slept all over each other.

The next day I woke up when my friends placed a cigarette on my mouth. They had hired a guy who used to live with them and do all their work. He was the cook, cleaner, the laundry man and many more. The first thing to do in the morning was to smoke as much as I can until my lungs give up. We ate heavy breakfast and I being habitual to a sleep of 14-16 hrs of sleep went to sleep again. Infact sleeping was a very important part of my journey otherwise how could I spent 8 days in a city like Pune.

Then in the evening we went out for dinner in a cozy restaurant outside the town. There was a very strange and unexpected incident which happened with me there. On my second day of trip I was saving and one of Anup’s friend stated shouting: He can’t find his money and someone took them. And within minutes the discussion became heated. They all rushed to the room and checked everywhere. After some time one of the friend who was outside and told he had taken some money from his purse but remaining he had no idea. I also thought of check my purse, just for being safe. To my utter bewilderment my purse which used to have more than 400 Rs was now empty. OMG!. And I called Anup and explained to him the situation. He knew I had 400 rs in purse and I m not lying.

There were some suspicious creatures in the flat and there was a servant guy. The incident was also a shock for all of them also. Rightly so if anyone comes to ur house and is something is stolen from him, u ought to feel embarrassed. Someone them became very angry and called the servant guy who bluntly refused to seen the money forget taking it. And the guy had just cleaned the room 20 minutes ago, so most of the suspicion gone on him only. In the end nothing came out and I lost 400 Rs on the first day, even before the fun began. I had bought only 1500 with me and 400 are lost in 1 day and my mind was buzzing abt how I would survive in the coming 7 weeks.

The next 4 – 5 days very very fun and the best part of the 1^st sem vacation. We enjoyed thoroughly, made many trips around the city, seen a lot of chicks and wasted several hrs just smoking and chatting in some shade around the city. Infact in 7 dayz I had smoked around 100 cig. There were few place which I already had in mind I want to see. The first was to see the BVP college of science at Pune.

On the Fourth day we stated for the BVP. BVP was on the outskirt of the city and was around 12-15 km from our residence. The atmosphere was quite hot and humid and with the burst of traffic Anup got a bit irritated. Also, he had no interest in seeing the college and its only becoz I asked him he came. The incident happened on one traffic signal where Anup broken the traffic signal and taken the bike zooming while the red signal was on. Immediately the Pune police got on action. On the rear mirror we can see the police man following us. It resembled much like a movie scene. We being on the CBZ raced through clearly beating the Traffic policeman very behind. After sometime when we can’t find him following, we stopped for our cigarette break and smoked and calmed our self. And again began and we had gone around a KM more and very near to the BVP gate suddenly out of nowhere the police caught us. I mean it was around half hr before we had broken the rule and them he missed us, we stopped and had a cigarette and are so near the gate and this policeman! I am still very confused how did he find us? But, the Indian police are “True Indians” by its very Nature. Their sole aim is welfare of the people. And they follow a very general philosophy which is stamped out on all of them in whatever training they get. Right from top to the bottom a very special talent is being imbibed on them. I personally fell in a very strict sense that -we are a very large part of it. And that is cooperation: I will scratch yours back and u will scratch mine. Whatever rules u break or not break they will start from a fixed rate ie Rs 500/- and nothing else. They will pretend very serious and strict and appear very busy. They give u angry looks and a blunt and horrible lecture on driving and lifestyle. The people also have cracked them and give standard answer that they don’t have 500 Rs. So what can be done? We also had done the same. He told him that we had a examination in the BVP and that’s why we had rushed and please forgive us. But they won’t accept anything unless they had been shown some Gandhiji’s pictures. They will steadily reduce their rate and will come down to even low of Rs 10. Finally Anup gave him 50 Rs and he let us fee.

DA-IICT – A World class Institute; IIT++

A world class institute, IIT++, excellent, all foreign return faculty, state of the art hostel and canteen Good placement and unlimited opportunities for achieving excellence……..

Those were the few words and description about our beloved institute which generated for some a strong pull and for some others it was their last option (I mean among the good ones) and brought us to the gates of DA-IICT. Whatever be the individual reasons may be, but ultimately we all have embraced the institute and the institute us. After spending three years at the institute I, now began wondering sometimes weather I had done right in choosing DA-IICT. Was it the correct decision? Undoubtfully this period of college life in many sense (and important ones) defines and shapes a persons personality, perspective and ideology. Have done all what I want to do? Have I realized my true potential and value? Does I am exposed to all the possibilities of life other than mugging books? Was it my fault? Or the system is flawed? Surly every coin has 2 sides, so does this……….

Also, recently after reading a master piece book “IITians” by “Sandipan deb”, an ex-IITians I very strongly feel that I m missing a lot of what I had expected and dreamed of earlier. Things are not quite as simple and easy going as I had expected. I am not complaining about our DA-IICT system as being a student as I would never be satisfied with the policies of the institute. Very frankly, honestly and with loads of confidence I can say that the best place in the world is our DA-IICT campus. But there had been some experiences in the past 3 years which had made my very sad and unhopeful. I am accepting that I haven’t done very well, neither on academics nor in extra-curricular and certainly the institute can’t be blamed for my failures, mistakes and frustration.

Nowadays, there is lot of hue and cry going on the institute about the social conduct and what students do in their hostel. The list of “Do’s and Don’t Do’s” is increasing every day. Every now and then we find that our student dean or warden striding down the hostel wing with a diary (black book!) at 2:00 Am. That’s preposterous. The reason they give us that they had come to chat with the students. But in reality (atleast, what appears to me) that they had come to satisfy their ego. Both our dean and warden are ex-IITians with tons of experience of student life. They come and leave with a list of students caught smoking and drinking. Purpose achieved.

I can’t comprehend this behavior of our faculty. The same goes with the ragging stuff. Even though DA-IICT does some really great shit and fuck in the name of ragging, the punishment are no less than of criminal offence. From my past experience I can surely say: I m even afraid even to ask a juniors name. The warden had given them the absolute power to even refuse to tell their name. If someone forces them, all they have to do is to just give a call to the warden and he will come furious and fuck all the seniors.

I didn’t understand this paranoia of our warden. I mean it’s absolutely fine that - ragging should not be done and the ambience of the hostel should be friendly and helpful. But do in reality such environment exist anywhere? Not only in hostel wings but even in industry? The hostel life is the most important part of the Eng. Education. Its here where student learn where he/she stands, come face to face with reality, and the real challenges of life. It’s the youngness, creativity and a quest of experimentation which gives it the special place it has. Its here only where students come to know themselves, others and even the outer world from inside only! It’s the freedom which hostel gives to the student which builds the character out of him. The freedom that no body is watching him, no one is stopping him to follow his heart and purse what he really wants. Eng. is not about mugging all the high Tech fundas, formulas and big theories. It’s not about only getting A’s and B’s and licking the Profs Ass. It’s a much more of a complete package. A package which provides a student a mandatory ingredient necessary to compete among peers, stress management, perfection, excellence, a spirit of competition and conquer the world. It’s the package which opens the portal of wisdom in front of every student. Basic components in this package are freedom, innovativeness, experimentation, self knowledge, confidence and an exposure to real life. Is DA-IICT providing all this?

Sadly, with the entire faculty interfering too much the hostel life is messing the whole system of student development. I remember the first thing I noticed about our institute is the freedom it gives to it institute. Now I m afraid even to smoke a single cigarette in the hostel! I remembered once when I was caught the warden told me he is afraid even to talk to me as I might affect his health. Why is there is much fuzz about such petty things when there are so many other stuff being locked up in the closet.Infact we can’t even have high volumes of our speakers in the hostel as we might disturb our neighbors. There will always be some who will “Chicken out” by ragging, become depressed (and suicide is no part of it). But that’s the point I want to emphasize that it all depends upon the student to develop from this one. Life is a double edge sword and in any case one has to walk through it. The earlier we learn to endure and embrace it- the easier it will be for us in the forthcoming years.

First few memories of college

The beginning of the College life, with the monsoon hovering and thundering in the sky showering tiny drops of chilled water, and with all the greenery on the earth appears quite magical, quite sensational and magnificently beautiful. The campus was the best thing I have ever seen, with neatly organized buildings and their structure, twisting and turning pathways like a huge mesh of bulgy earthworms, spreading all over the campus, greenery all over the space loaded with different colored flowers. Above all - all engineering student’s heaven: OUR HOSTEL. Resembling a giant fish in its shape, our hostel was an work of art with all the comforts students require. Well it’s a totally different matter what the requirements from the student prospective means. The DA-IICT canteen was in itself totally different section of the campus, popularly known as the “FOOD-COURT”. First time you see it, and I can bet you will feel like being in a restaurant. There are 5-6 canteen counters in the Food-Court. There is no mess system in DA-IICT and its more like – “pay and eat”. The real problem we have today is to decide what to eat given so much variety in food. So, with much enthusiasm and amusement the college life begins. Seen and heard so much about the college life that I was dying to experience it. Being a part of an institution like daiict was like a dream come true.

The wonderful college began with all the hopes and desires at their peak in Lecture Theater-2. Most of the fantasies about the college life, we usually see in movies so the desires and aspirations was usually high. Geeky profs, cool and hot chicks in their micro minis or jeans, (salwar-suits and clothing covering everything is strictly prohibited), gang of friends messing everything in the college and unlimited fun. If I am not wrong most of us would have definitely hoped of dancing with chicks, in the college campus like our hunk heroes do in hindi cinema. Me to was not out of league of this and quickly realized its not gonna be like that. But, being an optimist had some faith in my luck and God that if not this something else could definitely be done. The lecture theaters are like the movie theaters with a screen in the front and with a capacity of 300 students at once.

Looks cool but believe me it SUCKS. However cool and enormous it appears it’s the worst place of whole campus. And in weeks we (most of students) learned the art of bunking the lecture, proxying while attendance and sleeping with our eye half-opened, just enough so that the profs don’t through us out of the class. Many profs that we have got are very kind hearted and understood our positions and problems and didn’t uttered a single word even when we had fall slept on the front benches. They understood the pains the students take to come to their boring and monotonous lecture at 8:30 AM, with barely 3-4 hrs of sleep.

During the first few days went without much happening and with only introductions of everything. New friends, new place, a totally different environment and with a quest to committed. In the initial days I scanned through the girls of our batch and to much of my disappointment they are in vast minority and grotesquely distorted. Very few pieces can be classified as chicks with lot of modification and adjustments of the terminology. I being a very shy person find it very odd to go and talk to them. Especially one to whom you want to talk is surrounded by many who cant be termed as girls.

During the initial days the whole batch was divided into four groups of 60 each. We all attend lectures all together buts our labs and tuts occur batch wise. Luckily some of the hoties came I my match and I thank God a lot because I can’t imagine what I would have done, if they were not in my group.

Annez

Annez is a very simple living, witty, sometimes precocious, smart, diligent, audacious and fun-loving person. An extrovert, he is very helpful, caring, compassionate and full of zeal to prove himself and to enjoy every moment of his life. Basically a very soft and warm hearted person with strong dislike of bad-habits like smoking, drinking etc and people who cheats on friends. His life’s funda is very simple: ‘Simple living and high thinking’ and thinking, thinking and thinking. He is very fond of books to, not novels but generally autobiographies and all other kind of intellectual crap. Annez’s most important quality is his attitude, especially towards his friends. He is one guy who will always stand for his friend no matter what ever be the consequences. Believe me friends like him are too rare to find. Right now iski life mai ek hi problem hai(common to most of daiictians including myself) who hai "kanya" ki. Waise to bande mai koi defect nahi hai (lambai-motai-chudai sab barabar hai- har body part ki), sirf tough luck chal raha hai is maamlae mai.

Annez and I had first meet during our second sem in da-iict and soon became very close friends, as we had lot of stuff common in between us (including our elephant-Motta). As we both are in the same group, always had loads of time together. Spent numerous hours together simply just bakering and killing time. To take the Raging sessions also, we used to mostly go together. There had been numerous baker-stuff we had done together. Once when our warden and hostel supervisor were being to much pain in the ass, we had made two banner using colored pens with the label:-“FUCK(Warden),FUCK1(warden ka pilla no. 1),FUCK2(warden ka pilla no.2- hostel supervisor) and DOGS” are not allowed in the hostel and put in the cafeteria and the hostel notice boards. That was really fun. We put the banner around 3:00 at night. Some asshole senior took it off around 12:00 noon. There are always some ass lickers. Can’t help. Another incident was with our elephant MOtta. Once me, Annez and Simba we working in the lab and motta was also there and we pissed her off. There had been a lot of crap stuff happened after that. Once we had our daru party at the hostel terrace (once only becoz Annez doesn’t like to drink). We had some other friends also with us that time. After our friends left we had taken out the one which I had bought for some one else. Actually due to lot of people we got very little. And we drink very occasionally so wanna enjoy a bit more. So drank about ¾ of the bottle together and had lots of fun.

I can bet Annez first LOVE in life is Creams & Cosmetics. Annez is too fond of them. His daily chores including one hr. of bath daily( who baths daily in hostel yaar, total wastage of time and water), cleaning nails, putting atleast three layers of creams all over the body (OMG), I mean all OVER THE BODY. They had become an important part of his life. There had so many layers over his body that he looks doubly fat becoz of them. Gossiping is one of his favorite time pass, and is pro in that. Enjoys a lot in “yahan ka wahan aur wahan ka yahan”. Inshort londe mai bahuut sari londiyon walle Gon aa gaye hai. Reason kya hai yeah mujhe patta nahi but let me take a guess - Actually he used to had a girl friend (there may be few) in his school days and I think he had spent a lot of time with her, and hence slowly and gradually, some female virus had entered into his body and the outcome is clear.

He has been given a sixth sense by the almighty god, which is to scan any person as no scanner human has built till now. From top to bottom and from left to right everything is processed in just a mere glance. He can even tell the colour of nail polish of girl’s toes and can describe her fully-in details in just a glance, even “THAT” which we all guys strive so hard to see but can’t. Pura chid-fadh ho jaata hai ek baar mai.

But as in every normal friendship, we also used to bicker and argue a lot with each other. Every time we discuss something the outcome comes to be the same and that is that I am an asshole and have to do some serious thinking and studying of the real world. In short everyone except him is a ‘Chutiya’ and good for nothing. I personally always agree that he’s a great guy with a very agile mind, sound knowledge and awesome sense of humor but I think due to very intense contemplation, he had forgotten the basic of knowledge and wisdom. But I think he is coming on track and understanding the simple fact that no one is too smart to call any other one a nitwit. And every man projects himself on the other guy while commenting on someone else.

Introduction to Raging

I had hardly tasted the BUZZ which raises the hackles of most of the fresher in engineering colleges: RAGGING. Raging was not for me as my real brother was in the senior batch and I had good acquaintance with most of the guys who were interested in raging. They were the most senior batch of the institute and the one with most zeal and passion for ragging. So I was generally left out, pardoned and told to go back to sleep (Raging generally happened at night, in fact most of the things in hostel commence at night only, even waking). On some rare occasion I was raged and that to very mild. On one occasion I was asked to dance like Aishwary Rai as she did in devdas as I told them that she was my favorite Actress. All the guys were very cool with me and no slang was used with me. No fuck, No THAT and THAT. In that session I really came to know the creativity of my seniors as they asked one of fellow to sit down and shit like he is seating in a moving train pot. I must say that really very very funny and even the guy has to take support of an invisible rod to make the scene more vivid and real. But that does not end here the real part come next. They asked some other guys to sit opposite to that guy and in the same position and do as exactly what he is going. Seeing the two guys every one was on the hysterical laughter including me and others waiting for our time to come and praying to god please don’t do this to us and save us. Some ppl were asked to sing and dance , some were to say jokes or any different experience they had and there was no physical raging and no harsh punishment or slang . Overall very peaceful and mild raging or PDP-Personality Development Program compared to what I was planning to do with my juniors.

Seniority

Now it was my turn to have some fun. Things have changed a lot and the ball was in my court. I was now accepted in to the vast and big family of daiict, had acquaintance with a lot of seniors and my batch mates and the happy DAIICT family. So I was all geared up and enthusiastic abt taking raging. Oopps sorry its PDP or Intro. So the second year started with lots of hopes and excitement and some tension also, as our institute is very strict on raging. The big B has already warned me to be in my limits as he won’t come to my rescue if any fuck happened with me as a consequence of my action. I was on my own and with total freedom and got the first taste of being superior, having unlimited power, and being a senior. Frankly speaking I was a bit tired of being junior for a full year and wanna fuck atleast 1/4^th of the incoming batch. So the new batch arrived, with some kool chicks and loads of assholes. Raging generally happens during evenings and nights with prolonged sessions. So on the first night me and one of my friend rajesh went to check some juniors.

There wing was very quite and ambiance a bit eerie (For juniors) and fearful. It was around 12 or 1. So most of the assholes have slept and only few rooms were open. In the end of the wing I found I room open and the fun begins from there. I went inside and asked the guys to get ready for their 1^st engineering lesson: The Intro Lesson. I took the traditional intro( name, hobbies, place, etc etc ). Then came the turn of “THAT” stuff. The guys were quite pissed off seeing a senior at 1:00 and looked very childish and simple. Yaar thoda standard to mangta hai naa engineering college mai. I checked their knowledge in THAT stuff and soon 2-3 guys face turned pale white and were on the brink of crying. Damn it yaar this is ridicules and totally unacceptable. I asked had anyone done THAT thing (Guys secret weapon against the screwed gender ratio in our country and our pathetic social ethics and culture). There were some souths Indians also there who totally raped me in just 10 minutes so I asked them to have a sweet dream and get lost.

One of then replied he had done something (thank god, atleast one knows! I was pro in THAT thing when I came to college). I asked him to describe how to do THAT. The guy was quite shocked hearing my intension. He was very shy (no problems and totally accepted) and confused (who wants to see how other people do THAT!). So I forced him a lot and finally the stuff came out. I must confess I didn’t found it as funny as I had expected. But seniority had taken over on all over my mind and conscious.

After that the session ends and I left. After 2 hrs I found that guys searching for me in my wing. I asked what happened and he replied that some seniors (my super seniors) had asked him to look for me and asked me to meet them now. I asked why they are asking abt me. He replied that they had come for Raging and he told them that his turn is over (pathetic and horrible reply) as his ragging has been done. The seniors had asked him what I had asked him to do. So he blurted out all “THAT” thing and man seniors are too furious that their juniors had done what they haven’t thought even in dream. I can bet on that.

As seniors are the boss and to powerful to misbehave I went with that guy to the seniors room. They were quite eager to meet me, very angry and with intentions of giving me a real FUCK. But I had a trump card: BIG B. Big B was very famous and had very good terms with all his batch mates so I was confident I can take on any senior. They recognized me as soon as I entered the room and their hopes had been crushed. There were 7-8 seniors in that room and only 1 or 2 were still eager to fuck me. They asked the junior to leave (I m very thankful to them for doing that). One of them asked me to describe what I exactly I had asked the junior to do. I told them my intentions were never to hurt him, it was just for some fun. They asked me to be in my limits and take as much raging as I want but there should not too much friction because of that.

So the story just rocketed through out the whole hostel like SPUTNIK raced for its eternal journey into its orbit. Even thought BIG B didn’t said anything to me abt this matter I know he was really angry with me. But done is done.

The Royal Jain Sahib

Bhahi Bade logo ki Badi Batten.

The most Royal guy in the institute is our Jainy. A macho, passionate, strident (which many times is appalling and obnoxious), bonhomie, eccentric and a Nitwit bloke. God has created him for a very special purpose: To watch the entire cartoon series existing in the Internet and to Eat and Sleep. He is here to balance all the slogging the other’s take in the institute through out the sem. That’s all is his sole motive, purpose and objective, armed with them he has been sent in to this world. Currently his obsessive passion for the cartoon series is at peak. For the past 1 year whenever I went into his room I founded him in only two positions: either lying dead on his bed-Sleeping or Sitting on his pc, with headphones and his head a bit tilted. He Body is also an antique piece, always there is some or other problem somewhere in his machinery. Currently a new disease has struck him which is very surprising not only to me but to whole Hostel: INSOMNIA. A guy who used to sleep 12-14 hrs everyday now cries every third day of not being able to sleep properly. May be it’s the side effects of his 3 year in hostel. If u ask me I would say he has already slept enough to go straight without sleep for say-2 year. Every normal person spends 1/3^rd time on sleeping while Jain Sahib spent 2/3^rd plus. Well, Royalty has its price.

I met Jain sahib during our first semester. Once I was smoking in my room and jainy came and joined me. I was quite frustrated that time as I founded hardly 2 -3 guys in our batch smoking and others are too childish. Coincidently Jainy was my neighbor too. So we soon became “Sutta Buddy”. Then, there had been thousands cigarette which we had smoked together, went to all four directions from da-iict in search of sutta at night and had loads of fun together, boozing, night outs, baker in the canteen. The first Booze in college I had taken with jainy. He had been my best friend in the institute for past 2 and a half yearar.

Well banda dil ka kaffi saaf hai. Infact Areal sae dhulla hua hai. Dimag se jayada dil see kaam leeta hai, isse liye har baar laat khatta hai. Jain sahib had renounced engineering as his goal is to become an MBA so why slog in eng.?. Ek problem aur hai jainy ki. Din mai yeah jag nahi sakta aur raat mai yeah so nahi sakta. As a result , most of the time misses all the lectures and fucked up all his grades. Jainy is one person who will always stand for his friends and is very helpful.

I forgotten one of the major characteristic of jainy: - his Dream world. I think after seeing The Matrix something has happened to his brain and his mind had freed him from the cell which holds all others people mind and thinking. Many time u will find him talking about the fourth dimension or some other crap which have no significance and no apparent meaning in the real world. We all have tried our best to persuade him, to come out of his utopian world and stop being NEO but ……..

Motta

Well, what should I say about our “Motta”. Motta is a very sweet, innocent , calm person. Motta - as the name implies that she does not require much introduction about herself.

I first saw Motta during my first sem, in the lecture theater. I must admit I liked her in the very first moment I saw her She had an immense charm in her looks, a sense of contentment and happiness. She seems complete in her world. Her smooth and wheat -fair skin, her simple sense of dressing, her amazing poise , her childish smile( which appears too cute in her round face), her big and bright eyes exploring and admiring everything with joy and alacrity. Her shoulder height, jet black hair properly combed in a mix of traditional and trendy style, like a soothing gush of pleasant winds, her round figure like a tree completely green during a spring gave her an presence very difficult for anyone to resist. She is like a gold fish placed in an spherical aquarium – too sweet and astonishing. She is an extrovert, likes to have a lot of friends and enjoy being in groups and company of others.

Even though I liked her and wanted to have friendship with her, I hesitated and could not muster up the courage to talk to her. But God gave me a chance, here in DA-IICT we celebrate the Navrati festival in which all college students participate and enjoy dhandia( a Gujrati dance).So on that night I got the chance to talk to her and even dance with her. I must say those were very special moments of my college days. She was wearing a white suit and even though the stadium was lightened with many halogens, she had a spectacular glow of herself. We danced for around 15 minutes and I must agree i enjoyed it very much. Those few moments I must say totally isolated me from what else was happening on the festival. It was a mind blowing experience, having dance with the girl I like the most, was like a dream come true.

But I the most stupid and idiotic person in the world blown the only chance I had got. I don’t know why I didn’t talk to her after that night, so the matter ended there, but the crush was still living inside me. Nothing happens for the next 2 sems. In between I met with Aneez and we became very good friends, infact “langotiya yaar”. We used to share everything with each other. One day I came to know that Aneez also had the same feeling for Motta. So we both decide to woo her and a mild competition began in between Aneez and me. By that time I think Motta knew that I liked her and she has no idea who Aneez was. So I had an advantage. It was more of a fun time-pass to get some rest and to enjoy sometime out of our hectic college schedule.

One unintentional thing happened which was neither very pleasant nor very bad. Once myself, Simba and Aneez all three where in the lab building and Motta was also in the lab that time with her friends. At that time we were in very casual and relax mood and having a really nice time. The problem occurred when we start pointing towards Motta and tried to bully her, but our intention was never to hurt her. We were too busy with ourselves and Motta just came in from nowhere. I don’t know whether we were offensive or not, but I think we were. Also it might be our gestures that made her feel that we were making fun of her. Nothing happens then. After sometime I left the lab and went to my room. The real action began after that when one of her (Motta’s) friends came to Simba and asked him to have a word with her outside. Then she started with a voice and stance that made Simba pissed off. She scolded him, given Simba a nice lecture about manners and threatened Simba to behave himself and never dare to make fun of her friend again. All the time Simba tried his best to explain her but she just kept going on and on. I think the lecture went for around 20-30 minutes with Simba crying from her beatings. Aneez was also saved; she didn’t said anything to him. Why? I don’t know .This was a bit too much for Simba, in the first place if anyone was to be blamed for what happened it was me, as if I had not been there nothing would have happened. But my luck saved me.

So simba came and told me that all what had happened and man simba was very furious on me. We decided that if she got hurt we will apologies her tomorrow. I was a bit excited also because by this I got another chance to talk her again. So on the next day me and Simba said sorry to her outside the lecture theater and she said she didn’t mind. I wanted to stop her so that I can talk to her a bit more than “I m sorry”- “I m sorry”. But she was in a bit of hurry and left. Later that day I stopped her again in the canteen and apologized her and asked her for a walk. Walk in DA-IICT is very – very crucial for any relation ship to build. Personally I feel if a girl had a walk of the campus with a guy means the relationship is set. They are bounded by an invincible power, I think the soul of daiict which keep them together always.

But that fortune and good luck was not for me as I cannot complete the round with her. When we are half way of the campus few of her friends came and said, they had an urgent work with her and she had to go with them, and so she left. I thought k, if I can’t complete the round this time may be next time, atleast I got the feeling: she likes me or atleast she didn’t hates me. But here comes the twist in my story and for what she had done was too childish and immature. After 2 -3 days I was sitting in the canteen and Motta was also sitting the canteen.I was with some of my friends and Motta with hers. Some of them were guys also. I think she asked one of her favorite brothers about me and bingo – END OF STORY. That guy is an asshole and a pain in the ass. A 20 year jerk with a mentality of 12 years – 4^th class going student. I think he told to her innocent sister that how sinister I am - A useless guy who smokes and drinks in hostel, who uses filthy language and is unbearable. I think he declared me as the most corrupt guy in the institute. So with that she developed an image of me in her mind which she still carries with her always. Later that night I saw her in the canteen and was thinking of talking to her. Seeing me she rushed back to her hostel, totally avoiding and ignoring me. I also felt that she was afraid of me. Ok I m not the most intelligent guy in the institute but I get very well what her sprint meant. That was the limit for me and all my feelings for her got leaked out like air leaks out of a busty vehicle tyre.

I don’t know exactly what happened but I am pretty sure that the possibility of happening that or something like that is 99.99 %. I don’t understand how people can come to such preposterous conclusion without any thinking, without knowing the other person themselves. Thank God we are not together otherwise I would have beaten myself to death.

It Was She

It was during the fourth sem that I noticed her and her astonishing beauty. She was a very simple but elegant looking girl, with cute specks, “touch me not” type attitude (atleast towards me!) and an amazing calmness of poise: a magnificent balance of beauty and etiquette. One thing very peculiar of her far apart from all other college girl’s was that she always seems to be coming straight from beauty parlor, without a stain or a bug. Her hair always properly made in her traditional style, with new salwar kurta every day!. I couldn’t understand how she managed that and wanted to ask her secret but fate…Whenever I saw her I always felt a cool breeze of a pleasant morning with drops of dew falling on me from trees. She was graciously slender, decent heighted with a body of a dolphin. She was an epitome of beauty. She was like the first rain of the season full of freshness, joy, freedom and with a tendency to change everything. She was like stars in the sky, u can see, u can admire, u can love, u can dream but can’t go near it, can’t touch it, can’t feel it. She appeared too delicate even to be exposed to open air, and I, wanted to hold her in my arms, and shield her from the grey world - away from everyone and everything. She was very special to me and I think I was very opposite for her, fate again…...

She was doing her MS in IT and was in her second sem. I was totally over whelmed by her, and the crush was inevitable, so my heart start beating for her. As she was in post graduate, I had a hesitation to go and talk to her and she always used to be surrounded by her friends, and much to my annoyance. Many of my friends used to bully me about her, but I was already in my own wonderland with her.

So I decided that something has to be done. Ok, I can’t just go and talk to her so I have to find out some other way and one of my friend suggested why don’t I mail her, and tell her about my feelings. The idea seems pretty decent solution for my problem so I decided to write her an e-mail. At that time I didn’t even know her name so was really worried what would be the outcome, but had no other option so went through with it. I don’t exactly remember what I had written then, but some thing like-

Hi

I am Deepak Agrawal of BTech 2003 batch. I told her I want to have friendship with her.
And pressed the enter button with a lots of prayers, fingers crossed and a shaking hand.

The reply came next day which I remember very vividly. It was like

Hi

I am Anita whom u mailed yesterday (regarding friendship). I m not interested in any kind of relationship with you. Please don’t mail me again.

Seeing the reply I feel like I had fallen through a 10 story building and my heart crushed. Woh! What a rude and insensitive reply. Ouch my heart started bleeding. People say that the feminine part is much more sensitive than its counter, but in reality it is totally opposite. Don’t believe me? Try it or ask eng. students. After that all the delicacy about her wiped out of my mind and I pictured her as a stone hearted girl trapped into an angel’s body. My Princess. But I was determined enough and decided to try again.

So I made a few more failure attempts to talk to her. I mailed her a few times…
K k many times just asking her to meet me once, but I don’t know why she never replied to me? Even once. Finally desperation took over me and I decided to talk to her straight and tell her about my feelings. So after some days I saw her having dinner in the canteen. It was Saturday and a movie was screened in out OAT (open air theater). After dinner she went to watch the movie with her friends. So I muster up all my courage and went to talk to her. I asked her: “can I have a word with her” and she said ok. I had gotten the feeling that she didn’t recognize me so I asked her weather she recognizes me or not? She said no and I told her that: “I am karan who mailed you”. I must confess that those few moments were the most important and precious of my life, as she just freaked out seeing me in front of her and too much of my surprise, she was literary shaking. I thought this was the first time she was talking to any guy. I told her about me and explained her I just want to have friendship with her and came the filmy and powerful reply that “I DON’T TALK WITH BOYS”, I tried to explain her, that, I m nice guy and she can trust me, and moreover I am only asking for friendship, but she was very adamant and told me that I should not force her to be my friend. And so once again my hopes and dreams are crushed and my dream world was shattered, and I came face to face with reality. This time I felt very pathetic and depressed, and realized she was not my type of girl. So with a broken heart I bided goodbye to her and to my dreams.

But there were so many things I want to say to her, so many things I want to hear.

There was so much I want to know about her and to tell her about me. I tried a few more times, once in our canteen. That was really a tough decision for me as I m a very shy person. I asked her “does she mind having a little chat with me?” and came the reply: “There is no point in talking to you”. I am still very confused what I should have said to her then. I couldn’t understand, what she expected me to put forward and that to in front of whole canteen. I had only seen her, talked her only once and that to for a very short time. So in other world, except that she was a post graduate student, I knew nothing about her. The only point I had was that I liked her very much. So, with all that once again my hopes were crushed, but this time I was much more serious. For what was initially a mere crush, I should say, had turned in a long lasting love and fondness. But I very vividly remembered what she had told me in the OAT. And I never wanted to force her to be in any relationship with me. All I want is to have some time with her so that I can express myself, but ……

In her final sem, she went to do her final project in Noida. So I didn’t get the chance to meet her again. Even though I was dying to meet her, I always tried my best not to disturb her, as my intentions were never to hurt her. Luckily I got a chance to meet her once more during our cultural cum technical festival- SYNAPSE. She might have come for some presentation or something else (I don’t remember exactly). I saw her with her friends at the function. She looked gorgeous and I must confess I was dumbstruck, the moment I saw her. By just the mere glance of her my heart started pounding at double speed. I was too anxious and nervous to talk to her. Seeing my condition one of my friend Saurabh, pushed me towards, where she was sitting and said “just go and talk to her”. So I muster up all my courage and went to talk her. To my surprise she seems much less angry and friendlier. There was one more of her friend sitting adjacent to her. We had a nice chat for about 20 minutes, in which we talked about all the stuff except what I wanted to talk the most. I asked her does she would like to have a walk, and she said: “she didn’t mind, but her friend will be left alone”.

I am such an idiot bloke, should have asked the other lady, does she minds me having a walk with Anita, but instead I remained silent, and blown the last chance I have.

After time she left with all my dreams and hopes, and I remained alone with all the stars above me and searching for the one which was not there.

Lets play FIRE- FIRE

Its was just a usual hang out at night in DA-IICT hostel (a favorite timepass of college guys) involving Myself, The Deadly but innocuous Simba , Royal Jain Sahab and The revered Saurabh Misra (as his altruism is at peak right now and his engagement with the social club “SAMBHAV”). We were chatting about our college how it had made our life sick and miserable with draconian rules and exams(3 exam in a 4 month) and internships in 1 sem! Isn’t it to much? Me and Simba were playing “PAC-MAN” our latest passion .There was lot of anxiety and enthu going in the game as we trying our best(in turns) to make more high score and clear stages. Then Misraji suggested lets play Fire-Fire. He explained that the Fire– Fire is a game in which we just have to burn whatever we choose as our target and despises the most. As SIMPLE as that !!. Everyone there knows that how bosh the game was but still intriguing as nything which includes destruction(and that to of college property) Fancies us the most. Misraji suggested some ideas like we can flame up the Lab Building as becoz of it only we have to cut short our sleeps for past 3 years and attend all labs everyday some of which were of 3 hrs. Hectic – Hellic 3 hrs. Another choice was of burning the Library building for no apparent reason but simply becoz we don’t like the word libray and never used it. As there are guards sitting in both there building it won’t be safe so we decided lets keep our zeal for fire a bit short and small scale and do it (FIRE-FIRE) in the hostel only. But no one wants to play it in their room so the idea was giving by us and then Misraji found one match box Full of matchstick in my Room and then the idea exploded in his mind. He burnt a newspaper and the Game thus begins. We all became very excited abt it but then the Fire became very intense and Misraji just throws the paper out of his hand on to the floor. Rooms in hostels (especially boys, I haven’t seem ny girl room in hostel) are quite messy so was ours and cloths are all over the room so are the newspapers and magazines which we hardly read. In one corner a lot of cloths were pilled up on one chair and there were some newspapers on the ground near that chair. So the paper (which was burning quite intensely with Misaji’s enthu) reached near the chair and then the fire start taking the shape of actual fire. Thank God as were all 4 in the room we quickly hush up the fire But Fire is a dangerous thing to play with. As the room get filled with smoke we get out of the room after quenching the small fire (atleast that’s what we thought ). I quite vividly remember the scene of smoke coming out of my room’s window like coming out of an chimney instead. Really quite fascinating to watch.

But Something was smoldering back in the room which we didn’t notice. After 10-15 minutes Simba went in the room to play PAC-MAN as his current passion at that time was to beat my score. It was then he realized that something was burning behind the chair and he came out shouting FIRE- FIRE-FIRE-FIRE-FIRE…………..

Hearing more abt fire a chill went through my spine and my heart. I thought today my room gonna be blown up. Inside we went, the room was full of smoke and dusty soot flying in the air. Something was burning behind the chair so we quickly removed all the stuff lying on the floor and put them outside the room. We found a burning pillow , towel and some cloths burning profoundly. I and Simba rushed and brought water and others in the meantime tried to bring the fire down and check the room so that time nothing was left burning.

Finally the fire was ended and we learnt the lesson we have forgotton —
FIRE IS NOT A THING TO BE PLAYED WITH”